So I've been toying for a couple days with a plan to do an introduction. The first post (which is generally reserved for introducing) was more of a why this blog and why Hekate.
Anyway.
About me. I am 26 years old, Year of the Snake, which I love. I've had several snakes over the years myself. I'm also a Gemini and it definitely shows. A lot of people say zodiac are rubbish but I read the basics (as in overall details, not daily "fun" horoscopes) and I find myself agreeing with a majority of what it says.
I am married, have been for 9 years and have been with my husband for 11 years. We have 3 daughters together, S9.5, D7.5, and J4.5. It's kind of touchy in terms of religion as mostly everyone in this area is Christian. My children ask to go to church on occasion but I'm trying to teach them that it isn't the only option, nor is mine the must take path. Husband isn't necessarily sure what he believes anymore, so we'll see where that leads.
I have numerous chronic illnesses and more that haven't. It took 13 years to get the first diagnosis and an additional 3.5 to get where I am now. It's honestly like pulling teeth. Actually no, pulling teeth is a breeze compared to modern medicine when you're complicated. My neurologist calls me a special snowflake. I'm not sure how I feel about that to be honest. My electrophysiologist just says my case is complicated. Most of these you'll probably have never heard of unless you or someone you know have them. They are as follows;
Hyperadrenergic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome - also called Hyper POTS. The hyper part means my adrenaline system is hyper active and my blood pressure while usually normal to low, turns hypertensive while standing (Orthostatic), my heart rate also goes a bit crazy with any activity which was originally diagnosed as Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia. Along with the same line, I also have PACs and PVCs so sometimes even while sitting it goes a bit haywire. A form of Dysautonomia.
Neurocardiogenic Syncope - or NCS, a fainting disorder that seems to be temporarily in somewhat remission. Before, my blood pressure was low on a normal day but would drop dangerously low and occasionally my heart would briefly stop beating. With the HyperPOTS manifesting and everything else driving my blood pressure up, I no longer lose consciousness, just get super dizzy. When I get some of the other disorders under control, my blood pressure issues may resolve to where I'm back to passing out (joy). Also a form of Dysautonomia.
Narcolepsy - I don't have cataplexy but I do still take naps and sleep quite a bit along with insomnia. Sometimes I fall asleep and can't help it. I call them microsleep, they last roughly 30 minutes and I always wake up anxious and my heart racing.
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Insulin Resistant PCOS - my hormones are ... more than screwed. My thyroid antibodies are in the thousands (normal is below 35) and my insulin levels for a year have been quadruple what they need to be. Last check they were only double that which was "ok" but not good enough so hopefully it's getting there. I'll skip the details into the more feminine aspects of PCOS.
Migraines with and without aura - self explanatory on the migraine part. The aura, also called ocular migraines take my vision both central and periphery though not at the same time. It usually means a bad one is coming but gives me time to treat.
Neuropathy due to the insulin resistance pre-diabetes and Dysautonomia. My hands, arms, legs and feet "fall asleep". I wake up with numb arms, if I'm sitting, my legs fall asleep. Sometimes it's so bad I have to hobble instead of walk.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder - PMDD, think ... PMS on steroids. Anxiety, depression, rage, weepiness. All or switching for 2 weeks. My anxiety gets so much worse during this time and EVERY little thing sets me off.
It took 13 years to get the NCS diagnosis and the rest have trickled in over the past almost 4 years (4 in February for the official diagnosis though unofficial from November 4 years ago). Most of the time if I hadn't fought, it would have been brushed off. NCS only came because my doctor told me there was nothing he could do and I asked him if I was just expected to suffer because no one could explain why I've been passing out since age 10. That "Well we have one more test we can try." Was the turning point for where I am now. The Hyper POTS diagnosis took an additional 3 years and traveling 6 hours one way for an all day appointment. The narcolepsy diagnosis I had to get a second opinion because even with a "classic positive" MSLT sleep study, she couldn't believe I had so much wrong with me. That second opinion was with a neuro sleep specialist (most sleep studies are done by a pulmonology sleep specialist - like my MSLT) who looked at it, said "Yep, that's positive, why did she send you to me?" Good question doc. My Hashi, I had to request the *right* tests because the normal ones ran, came back normal. Seems that's always the tests. They all come back normal until the doctors run the tests they don't usually run or the "well there's one last test" tests. Fun right? Yea.
Next subject, most of this region, and I guess by default, my family, are southern baptist. That's how I was semi raised. We moved 8 hours away when I was 10 so no familial or regional influence after and my mom wasn't practicing prior to moving. Just holidays with family. I think I've questioned what I was told to believe for as far back as I can remember. It was either a non issue or I was questioning it. Long strings of reaching out to a deity that wasn't answering, feeling abandoned, watching the hypocrisy, no thanks. Cliché as it is, my love for all things other began by kids tales. Sabrina the teenage witch, Harry Potter, the like. Then one day while browsing the books in the library at my moms work I found one of those girly books, spells for girls on love and luck and beauty... you know what I'm talking about. I still have that book. I've been tiptoeing down the line ever since. I think before now I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information and so many options and didn't know how to reach out and take it.
Mundane stuff, I love reading, curling up with a good book and a cup of herbal tea, and writing, swimming. I love cop shows, CSI (all of them), Law & Order (SVU), NCIS, Chicago Fire/PD/Med, Criminal Minds, etc. I also like the SiFi stuff, Minority Report, Grimm, Charmed, etc. Also, I find it kind of hard to relate when picking "music selections" relating to the craft because my favorite (on one hand) is Rap/R&b/Hip hop. I do genuinely like the songs I linked the other day but in finding them... I have no clue where to even begin most days.
Ok my brain is numb from the info dump. I can't think of anything interesting enough to share.
Later!
Bright Blessings!
~ Calypso
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