I know it's been a while since my last post but there has been a lot going on and little of interest but I'm feeling a bit salty. I started this yesterday but got interrupted and busy. I'm openly not Christian but not fully openly pagan, as in, not out of the broom closet. I don't attend church unless my mother asks me to go for her for mother's day or funerals/weddings etc. I don't close my eyes and bow my head for grace at family gatherings or say amen. I share free spiritual posts (though full on pagan things are USUALLY restricted to my more open side of facebook, occasionally I don't bother hiding). Those I trust, know. Or suspect. Those that dont, don't. Anyway.
I have a relative who is ... the worst. Not as ... vocally vile, as say the WBC people but very close. I've seen her riled up but generally she's just a syrupy bigot. Tries to be somewhat civil but you can tell she's judging you, etc. She was even fired from a government assistance job (think DSS/People's Inc/Health services etc) for the way she treated her clients, multiple complaints, asked by several to not come back. She didn't even try to hide her disdain for these people. You get the idea. I could go on and on for days. Granted, she's my aunt and I love her. I just don't like her. It happens. I don't avoid her if she's around, I'm definitely civil and even friendly but we don't ... hang out. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to her house on one hand and each time was to help her (she runs an animal rescue) or with my mom. Just a bit of history. Anyway. In November of last year, November 1st, to be exact, she posted on Facebook asking if anyone had a mama cat that could take an abandoned nursing kitten she'd found in her chicken coop. After about an hour or so of no takers I posted that I had a mommy cat if she didn't have any other options and we arranged for me to come get it when my husband got home. 2 hours later she messaged me asking where I was and that the kitty was hungry. An hour later I showed up with my husband and children. The kitten was in a transport crate in her drivewar with a little dish of goat milk and she gave me a medicine dropper to feed it while it was quarantined and some meds for a respiratory infection and dewormer, the meds were on her atv thingy (I have no clue what it is) in her garage so I stepped into the garage with her, about 2 feet in the garage. No where near her side door and on the opposite side of her house than her room is. Stepped back out of the garage and stood around talking outside while my husband helped my uncle with dog kennels since his knees and stuff are bad. Once done we left.
A few days after Christmas my mom called me to give me a heads up that my aunt couldn't find a piece of very expensive jewelry and had been looking everywhere and was going to file a police report and remembered she had seen it before I came over. She also listed a handful of other people, including my mother that had been there but at first I was pissed. None of my immediate family had gone inside the house in the 2 month period between "it may have gone missing then" and "just a heads up" and she runs an animal rescue from her home so has her "volunteers" and people from that and has people house sit for her and has them over etc but mom talked me down and I let it go. Simply because mom said she'd given them "all the names she could think of" and it was a very expensive piece. I'd be panicking too. However nearly a full month went by with no word so I forgot about it. Until a detective called me and asked if I could come in and talk with her and give a statement. I'd completely forgotten about it and assumed it was about a completely different incidence (where I was a witness, not a suspect) until I sat and thought about how not only were those two agencies in two seperate counties but two seperate cities AND two seperate states. So I got to thinking and that "heads up" was the only thing I could think of. I'd agreed to come in, I have nothing to hide in any case but we'd played phone tag and things kept coming up for her but finally yesterday I was able to get in (though had to speak with a different detective because the original got called out on a case).
I was mirandized and though I could have refused to cooperate or asked for counsel, I'm innocent of everything (except for having differing beliefs) and not afraid of giving my accounts. I've never been arrested, never questioned as a suspect (once as a teenager I was questioned at a local hangout on the whereabouts of a friend who was later arrested for possession) never suspected. In short, I've never been in any kind of trouble, I don't do drugs, I don't steal, I've never stolen from friends and family, never been accused. In short, I'm the cleanest "black sheep" in the ENTIRE family. My black sheep status comes ONLY from being a pagan democrat. My friends all know I'm not a thief, as does my family. My own mother stated I'd rather do without than look for handouts and I won't even ask for help with something I need and hate accepting help unless it affects my children. When my husband lost his job I did what I had to by starting to babysit but was fully prepared to move to an area I hate (because it's all people like the rest of my family and I'd be shoved even more in the broom closet but even more secluded because it's in the mountains of coal country) because that's what was going to happen if I or my husband couldn't pay our bills. But we are surviving. My bills are paid, my children had a prosperous Christmas, I'm able to afford winter gear and clothes they need and even toys and entertainment. We don’t go out a lot, I have wish lists that occasionally I can buy from but more often, they have to wait. And that's ok with me.
The detective straight up told me that I was there because I was a suspect in the disappearance in the jewelry that had been reported sometime in December and that I'd been there. I gave a statement and showed the detective the messages that were time stamped with the date and time, the post from where she was asking for help etc so there could be ZERO "around this day/time" "may be off by a bit" etc. No, it was "the last time I was at her house was at x time on y day for z purpose " and "as of this day (which was yesterday) I've only seen her one other time. At my mothers, for thanksgiving dinner. I didn't see her AT ALL in December, January or February, and just those two instances in November." My husband, who is not pagan (is curious) though not practicing Christianity, was with me in both of those instance and on the first, even returned alone to their house after dropping us off to continue (outside) helping my uncle with the kennels. He has not been called or questioned yet he was also there (longer than me), he has a minor record (for court, violation of probation on a driving while suspended that he didn't fix), a long driving record and a history of drug abuse all of which is resolved and has been but the fact remains, he has a past. My mother was also there and while she's been on the right track as well, for years, she's now a practicing Christian who attends church more regularly than aunt. She has been inside my aunts, regularly. She has not been called or questioned. Another person who has a past, including from stealing off of her in the past, was also there. I have no way of knowing if she's been questioned. Another who leads an "alternative or frowned upon" (to people like my aunt) lifestyle and does drugs but is a "Christian", was also there at different times, has not been questioned. My cousin who has been in and out of jail and prison, also an addict and "alternative/frowned upon", also been found guilty of stealing off of a relative etc, has not been questioned or even a suspect, probably because she "goes to church with her aunties". Despite catching another charge just last month. Another relative house sat and their spouse is a meth addict and thief who abandons their son for weeks at a time while that relative was seeking treatment from the VA. Neither of them have been questioned. Yet again, they're non-practicing Christians. The list is endless. But I'm the only suspect of the people I know. My mom went with me and was astonished. Then she said "It's probably because she thinks you're a facebook satanist".
This is why I don't want to say it loud and proud. Why I only fully admit it to some or total internet strangers with some anonymity. Trustworthy people. More trustworthy obviously than my own blood. I know I'm innocent. My friends know I'm innocent. My immediate family. But this is the first time I've been accused of something based not on character, but simply for being different. I've read articles of people who are suspects in homicides and headlines read all about how the crimes are suspected "pagan/wiccan ritual" killings, how people are still murdered because they're pagan or accused of witchcraft. STILL, to this day. In 2016. And while MANY people are accepting or at least not automatically on the defense or actively on the offense. For nothing. Granted now that my opinion is that aunt can kiss my non-satanic ass and I'll never lift a finger to help her again, I kind of want to say fuck everyone and walk out of that broom closet with my middle fingers up. Or at least with my head held high. Just something to think about next time someone says they're afraid to step out of ANY closet. Because I knew some people would not like it, but I never thought I'd be accused of a crime I'd never commit even desperate by my own blood.
