So it's been a while, again. More than a while actually but there's a very good reason for that. 2016 has been a ... turbulent year, to say the least. Not totally in a bad way, now that I've had a bit of time to heal. In March, my husband walked out on our family and moved back in with his mother (briefly) before moving in with someone else. I don't know who or where. At first he was around quite a bit and seeing the girls often, but now, he's all but disappeared. I would say that it was a total surprise but it really wasn't. We tried and tried over the years but really, while I loved him, it just wasn't working anymore. Neither of us tried at the same time. When I was trying, he checked out, by the time he tried again, I had checked out, and vice versa. Hekate had been warning me and moving me for months but I'm nothing if not stubborn. I suppose she finally took the choice away from me.
11 years. At first, I didn't think the pain would ever lessen, spent more time in tears than not. Now, I still miss him but I don't hurt nearly as much. In a way, I'm happier. Which seems weird, but it's true. I survived the first 3 months and each day I just get stronger. I don't know what the future will hold but so far, even though I railed against the change, I'm ok. I'm infinitely more stressed out, suddenly doing twice as much, OR MORE with suddenly none of the help, physically or financially, but now I'm not disappointed by the let down. I'm not sure what tomorrow may bring, I can only hope it's good.
Best of luck to you. Many of us have been there.
ReplyDelete