15. Hekate in my “mundane” life
I've had a lot of instances in my life where I felt the need to have a deity to lean on, where I needed to be strong, to have strength, where I needed to fight for myself and I felt like the deity I was looking for wasn't there. I've mentioned before that I've always felt called to paganism but was too afraid to really reach for it and fully embrace it until more recently. In all these instances, I felt totally alone. Turns out, I was looking in all the wrong places and should've braced my path from the beginning.
Now that I have, I feel even stronger. Having faced all of that seemingly alone, and survived or pushed through the struggle, I feel even more courage now that I KNOW I have Her to guide me. I don't feel that emptiness anymore. It's so, isolating hearing all of your friends or family talk about how wonderful they feel and singing the praises of their specific deity and how much that deity has done for them, or even their trials and outcomes and wondering why you have never, not one single time felt like that. I get it know. I can feel Her presence the way I've never felt the other, and it truly is amazing.
Even now I'm still evolving, trying to better myself to be worthy of my Lady. I feel like a better person even when I'm struggling. Which I do still struggle, I've felt anguish and anxiety and disappointment since finding Her, but I feel the strength to push through more readily, like I can do it. I've found where I belong.
For 11/26/15
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