30 Days of Devotion to Hekate: Day 2

2. How did you become first aware of this deity?

I have been toeing the pagan line for half of my life now, trying to find exactly where I was called. All while simultaneously ignoring it because of my families beliefs (SBapt. AND Repub, I'm basically black sheep without even doing anything wrong) and worrying about how they would feel. Still do to be honest but I'm tired of denying my path. Of course over the years, while trying to find just where I fit, I've come across stories of Hekate, usually as a fearsome Crone that I was afraid of and didn't want to trifle with. I guess it just goes to show you need to do your own research.

As I've said, over the years I've toed the line, read a book here or there, began studying some. For some reason or the other (usually the overwhelming need to hide it or someone's bad reaction to it) I've given up.  Or perhaps it just wasn't the right time. This time I have a modicum of support. I still don't plan on fully outing myself. This community is small and some of my relatives (and their ilk) are just vile. Those that truly matter do know, basics at least.

I did a lot of research on deities, patron deities, etc. There really are too many to even quantify. Where do you start? I'm no good at meditation, thus far I always fall asleep. I'm working on it. Dreams were getting me nowhere. Having Narcolepsy really throws a wrench in those two. I know not everyone has a Patron and that it was possible that I didn't either, but somehow I knew I did. I still didn't know where to start. Which pantheon to look in, which deity in those pantheons. It's not like I could recognize signs if I knew nothing. So, I asked the gods to show me a sign anyway. I looked at more before I asked, including at Hekate and immediately after. Searched high and low for a sign. Nothing. So I grabbed a new book on kindle and began to read. The series is a new one. I'd never read it before, knew nothing of the content. One of the characters was a Hekatean witch. As soon as I read Her name THIS time, I felt chills all down my spine. So I asked aloud if it was She, and She answered me. It was kind of surreal. I saw her in my minds eye, neither maid nor crone. She was a bit exasperated, probably because it took me so long to open my eyes. I haven't looked back since. I don't need to. I'm home. Who knows what the future will bring but I've found my niche. Or rather, She found me.