I decided to start this blog basically because I love to blog when the mood hits and needed a space for this. I can't and won't promise to keep it updated regularly but I'll do what I can.
I've chosen (Rosalind) Calypso (or Calypso Rose) as the name I want to use in public workings/here. It is not my legal name, obviously. I'm technically 'In the broom closet' to most people. My husband and a select few friends know but the majority do not. There is no public occult following here and only one even semi metaphysical shop (listed online) within 4 hours. And it is bare bones. You can't trip over a church here without hitting another. Of course, none of any occult, not even a UU, and 98% are Christian.
I'm relatively "new" to the path by way of knowledge but I've been toeing the line for 13 years. Hiding it, not embracing it. Afraid to open up to it other than briefly here and there. Especially since I was afraid to even broach it with my closest family, even my husband or closest friend. I'm tired of ignoring it. Tired of pretending. I openly embrace it. I am pagan. Not Christian, not Southern Baptist (my family's denomination), not atheist. Pagan. Polytheistic.
I do have a Patron Goddes (Patroness), I always assumed I had one, I just refused to open my eyes and embrace Her. I tried meditation and caught glimpses of Her, just enough to ascertain who I was seeing was female. But it wasn't until I sat down, lit a candle in their honor and really opened up. The meditation was just seeking, the candle working, I put out that I felt someone around me and had for a while. That I was done denying the path and was ready to embrace them and asked them to give me a sign. Prior to this I'd looked for signs, studied anything I'd seen in meditation. Looked up Gods and Goddesses, even Hekate directly. NOTHING clicked. After that, I bought a book from my favorite author (who had mentioned Bast and some others but never Hekate in any of the books I'd read to date). I opened the book on my phone (kindle app) and began reading. About a quarter way through the book it had a witch doing a cleansing and banishing. She began calling upon Hekate to aid her and immediately I felt chills down my back (and again as I typed this). I stopped as the chills raced their way down my spine, looked at it, and said "Hekate? It's Hekate?" And immediately within my minds eye, I saw her. Standing illuminated in the gloaming, arms held out, and she just said "Yes, my child."
I get the feeling She was a bit exasperated that it's taken me so long to open my eyes and SEE but I'm sold. I've promised to NOT insult her by immediately dedicating myself into her service because I'm still largely ignorant and I don't want to insult her by messing up. I am dedicating this time to studying and learning. I get the reason for the Year and a Day now. I'm not saying I WILL wait that long to dedicate, or even that I'll be ready by then, just that I plan to, eventually, dedicate myself to Her. I am still working under Her, just not as a dedicated priestess just yet.
I've felt that often, the tingling chills down my spine/all across my back occasionally but now I feel it in response to Her. Even in answer to questions posed to Her and especially when reading and studying chants and rites for Hekate. I often see posts about fearing Hekate and not wanting to work with Her, I am not afraid. I know it may not always end how I wish and that it's not something to treat lightly but She chose me, not the other way around. I could ignore Her and worship other deities (and I may even still worship other deities along side her) but why ignore Her when She is here. I, for one, don't plan to snub her efforts.
*Disclaimer: The picture is obviously not mine and still has the original markings left by the author.*
